a tomato is a fruit
not a vegetable.
And a banana is a berry
as are cucumbers, avocados,
and pumpkins.
Raspberries and
blackberries are not.
They’re aggregates.
Prawns and crabs aren’t fish.
Koalas and pandas aren’t bears.
Sweet potatoes aren’t potatoes.
Velveeta ain’t real cheese
and once upon a time
five states required margarine
to be dyed pink, so you would
never have to declare
I can’t believe it’s not butter.
Should I go farther,
or is that further? Don’t pop
the cork on that champagne
unless it’s from France.
The same varietals from California
have to labeled as sparkling wine.
I have my own pet bugaboos,
like referring to the Sierra Nevada
as the Sierras. The word is Sierra.
And the way the British mangle
Spanish or Italian words like
the ugly way they say pasta.
And what’s with the grammatical
clunker of using were instead
was when the subject is singular?
Charles Dickens didn’t write
“It were the best of times,
it were the worst of times”…
Lest I get too much further
(farther?) on my high hoarse
and wreck more havoc,
and leave you dear ones, bemused
I would be wise to remember
Raiph Waldo Emerson’s words:
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin
of little minds, little statesmen,
philosophers and divines.”
But honestly I could care less,
or should that be I couldn’t care less?
My head is literally exploding.
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