Junior (31)

Henry studies the ground under his feet,

pokes his shoe against the unyielding surface.

-This isn’t easy, Henry. I was going to tell you,

 but it didn’t feel like the time had come.

-Ok. So now it has, I guess. You were engaged,

 but now you’re not?

-It’s not as simple as that. He’s from Teviston too.

 Samuel. Sam Junior. Everybody just called him Junior.

 We grew up together, we were alway friends, especially

 in high school. Real serious when we were seniors, so

 we got engaged. We were already having relations..

-So what happened? Why didn’t you get married?

-He got drafted. We were gonna go ahead before he

 shipped out, but he was up at Ft. Lewis in Washington

 and couldn’t get leave and I didn’t have the money

 to go up there. Then they sent him over to Korea...

-yeah.

...and something happened over there. He was there

 about six months, then they sent him back. He was

 in the hospital for another three months.

-Badly wounded?

-Not physically. It was something in his mind.

 He wasn’t the same boy he was before he left.

-I know some guys like that. Saw a few of them over there.

-You were there, too?

-Yeah. I’ve only been back six months.

 Nothing like that happened to me, I was in

 the headquarters well away from the fighting.

 So what happened when he came back?

-I had gotten that job at the hospital and moved down

 to Cottonwood. Junior came back to Teviston so I went

 up to see him. It broke my heart to see how lost he was.

 He would just go out walking, day, night, didn’t seem

 to matter. Talking to himself. Or really it was like he

 was talking to someone who wasn’t there. The only time

 he was even kind of calm was if he was drinking.

 Then he’d just sit in a corner somewhere or out in

 the fields until he passed out.

-That’s rough, I’m sorry.

-Yeah. well it’s worse than that.

-How?

-Even if he had come back undamaged, things had changed,

 or I changed. I didn’t feel the same way as I did when he left.

 I was so ashamed.

-What about him? Did he still feel the same?

-I don’t know, he acted so strange. It was hard to tell.

 If he does, it’s buried somewhere.

-Okay. What’s the story now?

-My folks. They think that if we all pray hard enough,

 Jesus will bring him out of it. They kind of blame me,

 that I’m not putting enough faith in God.

-Damn! It’s all up to you and Jesus, huh?

-The thing is, I don’t know how much I believe in God

 or Jesus. I mean, not like that. Least not doing things

 like fixing people. fixing Junior.

-Miracles and all?

-Right. But Daddy and Mama believe. And when he isn’t

 out sleeping in the fields or wherever he goes, he stays

 with them. So if I show up there, with you, with anybody,

 but especially with you...-because I’m white? ...

-yeah, that too. I don’t know how they going to take it.

You understand?

-Yeah. I see the problem. So what do you want to do?

-I still have to do it. They’re gonna find out someway

 from someone. Better coming from me.

 I think if they meet you, they’ll see what I see in you.

-You think so? And what’s that?

-You’re a good man. I hope they can see that.