bilko world

o'neil says to winston smith,

his vision of the future is a boot

smashing into a human face, forever.

perhaps.

but i think it's more like

the episode of "you'll never get rich"

where the army

accidentally inducts a chimpanzee

into the army and the only way

they can discharge the ape

-is to court martial him.

Sergeant Bilko is counsel for the defense.

(gets upstaged by the chimp of course)

this how things really work,

not  Niccolo Machiavelli.

so i wonder,

when people get their bunkers all cozy,

with four hundred of their favorite DVDs

and a two year supply of steaks and pizzas,

Heckler  & Koch 417's

and a stack of gold bars

under the bed……..

what are you gonna do

after the 99th time

you've watched Ward Cleaver

or Captain Picard or Jenna Jameson

and your hand lotion is running on empty?

run the gauntlet of jihadists

disguised as baristas and accountants

shopping for powdered laundry detergent

and lighter fluid to make molotov cocktails

at Walmart?

i'll let you in on a secret:

jello with a double shot of spot remover

in a best foods mayonaise jar

works better. just be sure to get the glass kind,

the plastic jars are only good for land fills

and gold krugerands.

and here's another pearl,

the lizards and earwigs

don't give a shit about tar sands or tarzan,

collateralized debt obligations

or quantitative easing, they'll

be singing do-re-me long after

we've suffocated ourselves

with renuzit or drowned in pepsi

so fix yourself up with

a jello rum shot or

do a downward dog

stream up an episode of Bilko

and figure out something nice

that you can do for your lover

or your kids, your friends

or me, if you see me on the street

with a cup and a piece of cardboard

on which i've written:

Phil Siivers and the Dalai Lama

are the same person, for more

Information about the impending

convergence of prophesy

and the hive mind, ---$2.