Dear Jesus

Dear Jesus,

I know I’m a latecomer to the conversation.

Centuries, millenniums? So I hope you’re listening,

But I’m sure you are. In between the pleas for respite

from chemo treatments or hitting this week’s lotto.

Why did you have to die?

I thought it was always said

that it was to atone for our sins.

But now I see that it's more complicated,

There are various theories

of what your atonement was for.

Very formalized doctrines:

The Moral Influence theory, the Ransom theory, 

the Christus Victor theory, Satisfaction theory,

Penal Substitution theory, Governmental theory,

Scapegoat theory. Which ones are right

or wrong or is there some synthesis of all?

Some of of these are premised

on some kind of transaction.

God paying a debt to Satan.

for Adam and Eve’s transgression.

Or that it our debt to restore

God's justice for our own injustice

and Your sacrifice was to restore that balance.

Or to propitiate God's wrath.

Much as we might deserve it,

I don’t believe in God’s wrath.

We don’t require that, we are more

than capable of inflicting that on ourselves.

And have. It’s called history.

Seems to me that Satan

is quite likely our own creation.

God is Love. I like the sound of that,

Truly it does restore my soul.

And the proof of Your love is that

we're still here, with all our failures

and ephemeral triumphs.

And now with the means

to destroy ourselves;

quickly in a nuclear storm,

or slowly, as planetary cannibals.

That's the Devil we've created.

We can see him in any mirror.

And yet, babies still smile

until the cruelties of circumstance

or society erase the exuberance

of their new lives. And even then,

sometimes they persevere.

I see the presence of Your love

in their eyes.

Ok, I’m sure You’ve heard all this before,

probably raised an eyebrow or exchanged

an eye roll with the Buddha, Krishna,

and the Prophet.

What does Groucho say to Karl?

You bet your life?

So here’s what it seems to me

and I could be totally mistaken,

The cross is where X marks the spot.

Where the treasure is buried.

The crossroads between all

that came before and all

that has come after.

That sin must be expiated, sure.

By each of us as you did.

It is not a debt to God for some transaction 

In the cosmic market, it is the debt

owed to the fact of our existence.

The universe took almost fourteen billion years

for consciousness of itself to emerge.

I can only conclude that You

are incredibly patient. So I beg of You

to bear with us a bit longer,

we may get there yet. 

Yes, I know You died for all this,

and had that moment of agony

when even You asked

if You had been forsaken.

But You weren’t, were You?

And neither are we, by You.

I know this from the gifts

You have given me

after all that this life has taken.

Maybe I have answered

my own question, You died for love

so that it would be everlasting.

Is it that simple, or as complicated

as those various theories?

If You wish to tell me more,

send it to the usual address:

my heart

Thank you.

Your faithful servant,

Mark