a proposal for some new special interest channels

the paper clip and stapler channel,

the watching sheep leap fences channel,

the burning ants with a

magnifying glass channel,

the sorting gravel channel,

soap operas that feature

a torrid romance

between ivory and tide

and their futile attempt to hide

their secret love child, downy.

celebrity dancing with brooms,

pitching pennies with the stars.

live readings of the yellow pages.

a special for men

who love washing dishes

and women who like to iron

home tours of junior

account  managers

who like to collect string

and make giant balls.

symphonies written for

spoons and kazoos

performed in the nude

by chemistry teachers

and firemen. the composer

flips burgers at wendy's

by day, his opus was written

on napkins with ketchup.

world championship

whittling tournaments

live from the porch

of the governor's mansion.

macaroni mona lisas
in six easy lessons

and if you stay up late enough,

at 3:45 a special infomercial:

how to play hopscotch

and earn two thousand

dollars a week. at the office.