Bar Talk, Opus 65

Sindbad's sits on a pier and is soon to be evicted.

The Port of San francisco wants the space for ferry service.

I went in and took a corner stool with a view out the wide windows

of the Bay and Yerba Buena Island and the swooping arcs of the bridge.

It's the last week of their tenancy and I had some time to kill after work.

One of the regular's sat on the stool right up against the window.

Hey Mike, he says to the bartender, time for Plan B, Plan Budweiser.

His pal on the stool next him say's that's a good one, Plan Budweiser.

The first guy says you should of been here yesterday,

Mike was on fire. I came in yesterday morning

after a big night- you don't want to know.....
and I ask him for a menu.

and Mike says, you don't need a menu,
you need some Eggs Benny. So I go, Ok, gimme some Eggs Benny.

That Mike, he was on fire.

Yeah.

So I'm waiting for my eggs Benny
and this couple comes in off the ferry and sits right over there.

and the guy was a real douche, so I say,

You're bothering me.

But he keeps going on.

So I ask them where they came from,

and he says they came in on the Vallejo ferry.

A couple of real Val-lay Joes, huh?

Yeah. So he keeps on shooting off his mouth
and I tell him again he's bugging me and he acts like he wants

to get into something so I tell him he really doesn't want me

to have to handle him. You know?

Right.

And Mike tells the guy that I'm a trained martial arts master

but the guy won't give it up. But his girlfriend is telling him

to shut the fuck up. But he keeps running his yap.

Then he puts his hand on my arm and I take it off like this

and tell him again that he really doesn't want me to handle him.

And his girlfriend keeps telling him to shut the fuck up.

So then he tells Mike he wants a Coors with a Jack poured on top of it.

And Mike gives it to him and he chugs a bit.

And starts running his mouth again.

So his girlfriend reaches over and slides his glass

way over here where he can't reach it. And Mike goes,

Looks like you been cut off.

I'm telling you, Mike was on fire.

Just as the guy was finishing up his story, a well dressed lady

well past a certain age sat down on a stool and Mike brought her

a Vodka Cran without her even asking.

He says how you doing hon, and she says fine, Mike.
asks him what he's gonna do when Sinbad's closes in a week.

He says he's gonna get surgery for his bunions,

been working on his feet for forty years and it's tough

when you got bunions. Hard to find shoes that don't hurt.

She says yeah, she had them too, which toe is his on?

Big toe. Same as hers. She had the surgery three years ago,

and the doctor told her that if she did exactly

what he told her to do for a year, he promised that she'd be fine.

And she did. Says she can do all the things she likes to do again,

like dancing.

Mike says so you had to take it easy for a year? stay off your feet?

Yeah she says, fortunately there's things I like to do that don't require

being on my feet.

Mike says yeah I guess, but it's nice to have the option

if you know what I mean.

She snickers into her glass and says, yeah I  do, hon, now I can do

all the things I used to.....all the things. I followed his directions, it was worth it.

Mike says Terry should be here soon for his shift,

maybe you could show me your techniques, when I get off.

Techniques for doing things on my feet? You wouldn't

stand a girl up now, would you Mike?

Actually I was thinking that's exactly what I'd like.
to stand you up. know what I mean?

My bunions don't bother me so much with my shoes off.

How about another Vodka Cran for the road?

Regular guy in the corner says, Mike you're on fire!